Brighton Bloggers

[Sol 'Zero Tolerance' Gilbert] Da Blog…

[It's Nice That] Todd Hido

American photographer Tood Hido’s Homes at Night series is packed with personal sentiment and awash with saturated hues. An expansive and confident range of work based largely on domestic scenes and dwellings, the subjects engage the viewer by enticing with a familiarity that is so sharply recorded it’s tough to stop your trigger finger clicking through the whole bunch.

www.toddhido.com

[Simon Willison's Weblog] RE2: a principled approach to regular expression matching

[It's Nice That] Hans Hemmert

There’s more than enough work over on the Inges Idee site to keep you busy for most of the day but a recent find through Booooooom was the work of German artist Hans Hemmert.

Pictured is german panther, exhibited in 2007.

www.ingesidee.de

[Brighton Bits] Connaught 125 Day

[The Brighton Arts Blog] Brighton iPhone Apps

Having succumbed to the lure of the iPhone a year ago, I have found it a very useful gadget. However it has got a lot more useful since I found the "Brighton Bus Realitme Info" app. This lets you pick a bus stop (going both ways) and see what time the next buses are due to arrive there.

[The Brighton Arts Blog] Gorillaz Play Brighton

Everyone's favourite cartoon band are preparing for a summer of touring with a warm up show at the Old Market in Hove. It takes place on the 25th March and tickets are only available to members of their fanclub. They have just released their new album Plastic Beach and while it isn't as tune packed as the previous ones, it would be nice to see them in a small venue like that.

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Aral Balkan

[Mulled Whines]

As it transpires, it doesn't take that long to pop down to Asda for some chocolate and a pizza. No wonder they call it fast food. Lisa was back here last night before I'd even got the top off the glitter. I might have to change my plans and buy her a Next voucher out of Amelie's trust fund.

But despite failing to finish my Mother's Day gift, I decided I had time to get out and about today, so I headed to Uckfield for a bit of hospital bed rest. Whenever I'm there, I like to walk into town at lunchtime, and my route takes me past this shop...


I don't know if it's just me, but every time I have a butcher's at that sign, I find myself reading it as a film title. It's like 'Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man'. Although in Uckfield, it really ought to be Piltdown Man. Either way, I can't walk past the place without thinking it's a cinema. I spent the whole journey back to work this afternoon pondering a musical where Sally Field meets Elaine Paige over a bacon sandwich. I might write it at the weekend.

But anyway, if you're going to be a purveyor of finest quality meats, with the ability to heal fish, there's no better place to open a shop than Uckfield. The last four letters of the place spell 'Deli'. It's just a shame you can't use the first four.

[Simon Willison's Weblog] Cache Machine: Automatic caching for your Django models

[Gandhi Speaks!] How Many Will Brown Kill?

Don't tell Gordon, but there is a chance he will lose the 2010 general election.  If I had to guess I'd say nobody has yet told him that he has to call one; there's certainly no sign of acknowledgement from him.  In fact, he doesn't even seem to have noticed that he's broken Britain, so, so badly, that - in a few years time - we may actually run out of food.

Given these irrefutable facts, still denied, it's time to ask the question: how many will he kill?

I have decided to go about answering this question scientifically, logically, mathematically; hence, below, a tailored version of the ubiquitous Bateman Scale:

The world according to Gordon Brown:

1. I am a uniquely talented man. (5 chainsaws)
2. The world would be a better place if only I controlled everything. (5 chainsaws)
3. The British economy is in good shape. (5 chainsaws)
4. In-as-much-as the economy is not in good shape, it is because there are parts of the world which are out of my control. (5 chainsaws)
5. In the unlikely event that the public fail to understand these basic objective facts, I will remain Prime Minister, because, traditionally, general elections are optional. (5 chainsaws)

OK, so five universally accepted slaughter indicators, he's scored a full five chainsaws for each, that's twenty-five chainsaws in total.  Wow.  A twenty-five rating would usually translate into a truly massive slaughter.  However, after applying the best, and frankly the most expensive science available, I've concluded that no-one will be killed...  Why?  Well, although there can be no doubt that Gordon is theoretically dangerous, it's important to consider not just his likely desire to kill once reality finally hits home, but also his ability.  It is on this score that he falls down.  I'm afraid Gordon just isn't competent to kill anyone, not even himself, not even if you loaded the gun, rammed it into his mouth for him, arranged his fingers, and shouted FIRE!


Looks like we're stuck with him, election or no.

[Gandhi Speaks!] Giant Pencil Suicide or Darwin Award?

From the Brighton Argus: Window cleaner killed himself with giant pencil

Accident, suicide, or extremely skillful murder? We can only speculate; but the figures I have to hand (none) suggest that this doesn't happen very often.

Jeffrey Burton's body was found in a blood soaked room at his home in St Leonards with a gash to his upper right thigh and an oversized souvenir pencil covered in blood next to his ankle.

He had apparently bled to death. Notice the "blood soaked room"; that's what happens when you bleed to death, there's a lot of blood. There was not a lot of blood when chemical weapons expert David Kelly "bled" to death in a secluded woodland; proving that Tony Blair did not kill him with a giant MI5 pencil. [Not just tragicomedy; serious, prescient political journalism.]

Mr Burton's sister, Patricia Goodsell, told the inquest the jumbo pencil had belonged to their mother, who died in 2008, and that her brother had used it in yoga-like exercises.

As a mahatma, I can personally recommend Jumbo Pencil Yoga: it's good for your back, but you will need to take a jumbo eraser into the shower with you after each session, for obvious reasons.

The victim’s only history of mental illness was a psychotic episode in 2006, when Mr Burton heard voices after returning from a holiday in Spain, and was admitted to the now-closed Woodlands mental health unit.

As I recall, that was later reopened as the Woodlands Extreme Jumbo Pencil Acupuncture Yoga Concern Shelter. How did they miss him? Independent inquiry please!

With no suicide note, his death on September 27 remains a mystery to family and friends.

Mr Craze recorded an open verdict saying there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

Open verdict. Boo! Is it too much to ask Mr Craze... Mr Craze? What? Hold on... No it's not a joke, it really is a genuine article. So... Once, please Mr Craze, just once, could you not have had some fun just once, and termed it Death by Extreme Jumbo Pencil Acupuncture Yoga?

Here's an irate reader's response from the Argus' comments section.

disgusting - this is why i stopped buying the well-overpriced-for-its-content argus. the newspaper stands billboards "man kills himself with giant pencil" are degrading to his family and should not have been used in this "daily sport" kind of garbage. if you are going to go down this trashy headline route argus, expect more people to stop buying the paper!

I feel chastised by proxy; this is a silly article, and I have been silly to quote from it. I will sharpen* my game for next time.

*Clever pencil gag.

[Gandhi Speaks!] Uncooperative Quangos

Second post and I’m already looking for a swastika; the WW2(?) propaganda poster to the right will have to serve.

The Conservative "Co-op" plans have got my attention.  My first reaction: that's going to fuck Labour and the Lib Dems right across the kitchen floor and half way through the back garden, possibly dislodging the water fountain.  But will it produce results? After some digging around, some thought, and a great deal of ambivalence (it’s difficult being an optimist!), I’ve concluded it’s going to be a disaster.

The spin:
Public services to be released from the dead hand of government, delivered in future by independent co-operatives which will be more efficient, competent, responsive, and just all-round lovely.  It’s part of the biggest liberalization since the right to buy council houses!

The reality:
No it’s not.  What is being proposed is not new, it is not liberal, and it has not even come from the Tories!  These plans have been in development (in practically identical form) within government  departments for some time now, including the digital revolution which they are mentioning elsewhere.  When I first heard about this it was being described – yes – as decentralization, and that is just what it is; decentralization of RESPONSIBILITY, but NOT OF POWER.  Ultimate power will still rest at Westminster, since the proposals maintain the place of the public services in the state hierarchy, and the funding too of course.   The plans assume that the government continues to set standards, dare I say targets; there will be no competition, despite some woolly claims that contracts will be cancelled.  How are contracts to be cancelled?  Do they mean hospitals will be closed down?   The more I think about this the more obvious it is that phrases like “worker cooperativeâ€� and “Swedish modelâ€� are being used entirely wrongly. What is being suggested here is for public services, currently the responsibility of government departments, to be converted into quangos!  Fucking QUANGOS!

The purpose of a quango is to push responsibility far enough away from government departments so as to absolve ministers from responsibility for outcomes.  They are not designed to be responsive to members of the public, they are designed to CONTROL the public.

Let’s just imagine though for a minute that the co-operative part of the proposal is genuine (it isn’t, it can’t be, the proposals are self-contradictory, the feted autonomy is illusory).  If your local hospital or nearest school is run as a “worker co-operativeâ€�, state funded through tax, why would this (so called) worker co-operative be more responsive to your needs than one employing standard central controls?  Well it might be.  If the people making the decisions are closer to the action, they are likely to be able to make better informed decisions; but in whose interests?  It’s a WORKER co-operative: the workers’ interests!  There’s no competition to speak of, the money comes from government, there’s no reason to consider you whatsoever.  So imagine what would happen if tomorrow, healthcare and schools management were handed over to their respective TRADES UNIONS: Democratic organizations the trades unions, run for the benefit of their members.  Is this a liberalization? Will organizations which are run by the same kind of people who are running the trades unions be responsive to you?  Will they be more efficient?  Will they cut costs and improve services?  NO OF COURSE THEY WON’T!  They will spend their budgets and demand more.  They will be run (ultimately) by a handful of local bullies, and in their own interests.

Is this what you want? Do want your school or hospital to be run by Bob Crow or equivalent?  This is the likely outcome if the Tories actually achieve their stated aims...  Please don’t tell me they’ll cancel the contract, there will not be a queue of off-the-shelf co-operatives ready to take over... Might they just replace the management team then?  Not if it’s a genuine co-operative, it wouldn’t make much difference in the long run.  But yes, this is what they’ll have to do. Doesn’t sound like decentralization does it?  With no other mechanism, no viable competition, and only one empowered customer: the government; this cannot be called liberalization or decentralization.  Plainly these proposals have been designed partly within government departments and partly in consultation with David Cameron's team, some time ago, and with the express intent of further disenfranchising the public, entrenching the state and protecting the government from the people. It's the same basic quango blueprint that's been followed for some time now, and it means a march further towards fascism.

This generation of Conservatives do not deserve the benefit of the doubt that so many gave to Tony Blair, there IS no doubt; they too are fascists.  It is a mistake to believe that they are really liberal, or even Thatcherite.  They are most excited when talking about behavioural economics, this they intend to use to manipulate, control, and cajole you into behaving in a way which aids them.  There is a simple agenda here, it wasn’t set by Tony Blair, it is not being set by the Conservatives, it rolls on independent of the machinations of political parties; the politicians are just the salesmen, the very well rewarded salesmen of the state.

Just try to imagine yourself in ten years time; happy with what they’ve done, and happy that they’ve delivered on their promises...  Difficult, isn’t it?  Hold that thought: you will need it to survive the brainwashing that’s coming your way from the Conservative Spring Conference next weekend.

[Gandhi Speaks!] Four More Years!

...well OK, five.

I'm now convinced that the best thing that can happen this year is for Labour to be re-elected - without an overall majority of course.

It's not just my opinion, other libertarians are now saying the very same, and Obnoxio the Clown has today repeated his pledge to vote for them: "On voting, again"... That Cameron is a "lump of rancid cock cheese" would be reason enough, but I have my own reasons to hope for Cameron to lose.

1. Electoral reform is now beyond urgent. Any of the outcomes predicted by the polls make a mockery of democracy (well so does the status quo, but whatever, it can still get worse), and a hung parliament will create a great deal of pressure for this; I assume Labour cannot get an overall majority but even if they did, they'd be so weak it might still happen.
2. The Conservatives would rather go down with their ship than accept genuine proportional representation, so even a hung parliament led by Cameron wouldn't implement PR.  Their attitude is: we can wait, we can suffer electoral injustice, just so long as once we get in we have TOTAL POWER!  And this is the party that many think of as the most liberal we have.
3. I have become convinced that we need full PR, albeit only recently.  Arguments against are that it frequently results in deadlock and weak governments, but that would have been far preferable to what we've experienced over the past 13 years.  Strangely arguments against PR are often made by people (like myself) who generally favour weak government or obstructions to the passing of legislation, such as a second legislative chamber: elected/unelected to serve as a check on executive power.  In truth if we want more liberal governments, we will simply have to argue for them; hence blogging.
4. With the exception of a new voting system, I find it hard to imagine any new government getting anything through the Commons anyway, whoever it is, they will be powerless, and hated as the economic situation continues to deteriorate.
5. Keeping Cameron out this time will do the Conservatives a world of good.  They have an (admittedly small) liberal faction, and given that we all hate their traditional and "progressive" factions, they might just have nobody else to turn to after Cameron - presumably - steps down.  The Hannan/Carswell twins would make the best possible Tory leaders, and a failure in 2010 would be a huge boost to them at just the right time.

I'm interested to see what will happen to the Liberal Democrats regardless of outcome; it seems to me the only reason to vote for them is to get electoral reform through, they certainly have no soul beyond this single issue. I think a coalition with the Conservatives would create a rift, but a coalition with Labour which led to full PR might obliterate them completely, albeit not immediately; why bother to vote Lib Dem after PR blasts the system wide open?  Why should social democrats and liberals stay together if not for the need to be part of a bigger, more viable block?

This is of huge importance to me because I want to see a viable - and genuine - liberal/libertarian party emerge, and it seems that this election is the only chance we're ever going to get to make that possible.  If it doesn't happen will the same old twoish party system remain in place?  Maybe.  I'm not convinced that UKIP/Greens/BNP will still be with us if/when some of the current public anger starts to fade.

UPDATE: The latest YouGov poll has Tories on +7, up 5 from that terrible +2, but the Independent have some very juicy info: ComRes poll: Labour to win more seats than Tories.

[Gandhi Speaks!] EDL vs UAF, London

Tomorrow the English Defence League (EDL) are meeting at Tate Britain @ 13:00 in support of Geert Wilders; Unite Against Fascism (UAF) are meeting at Westminster @ 11:00 in protest against EDL.

I don't feel qualified to comment on this other than to say that depending upon who you talk/listen to, either:
a) EDL are the Devil's representatives on Earth, or;
b) UAF are the Devil's representatives on Earth.

Stay safe; preferably don't attend either march/protest because it's all a bit silly and in the past has turned violent. I know they are in different places at different times but - you know - ho-hum.

See also: "Wilders on course to be next Dutch prime minister"

[Gandhi Speaks!] Gove's New Station Wagon

I can't distinguish Michael Gove from Daniel Finkelstein; this may be because both are unbearable tossers.  Gove (I think) has dropped some high-odour ordure over at the Times today... 

Gove unveils Tory plan for return to ‘traditional’ school lessons

The national curriculum would be rewritten under a Tory government

I could just stop there.  But for those who haven't yet scratched off their own face.

He promised that a committee of the “greatest minds in Britain� would decide what children were taught.

Gove's "greatest minds in Britain", according to the article, are listed below, in no particular order.

• Michael Gove
• Prince Charles
• Simon Schama
• Andrew Roberts
• Simon Sebag Montefiore
• Michael Morpurgo
• Anthony Horowitz
• Andrew Motion
• Martin Amis
• Julian Barnes
• Sebastian Faulks
• Baroness Greenfield
• Lord Winston
• Lord Rees of Ludlow
• Carol Vorderman

Well it's great to know finally, definitively.  With these Philosopher Kings directing education at a national level, we'll surely reconquer the known world before lunchtime.  I presume Carol Vorderman will be teaching children how to sight ghosts, eat weird margarine, and sell dodgy financial products to Britain's most vulnerable people.

The Prince of Wales has expressed concern about the dumbing down of the curriculum[...] children are encouraged to learn blogging instead of historical dates and classic books.

Yes bloggers are an irksome bunch, best discouraged, after all they can create serious trouble for the government...  And historical dates?!  Here's one for you: 30th January  1649, King Charles the First beheaded.

History should be taught “in order — it’s a narrative,� Mr Gove said. Lessons should celebrate rather than denigrate Britain’s role through the ages, including the Empire. “Guilt about Britain’s past is misplaced.�

Ah, the patriotism again.  That'll win back those UKIP, and perhaps BNP people you've been losing of late.  And of course it's the tried-and-tested best way to maintain control over a subject population.

Thank you Michael.  Now about that localism/faux liberal agenda.  Do we still get that?  Are we supposed to guess what you're going to (try to) do?   I think I know...

Change!  Back.

[It's Nice That] Designs of the Year - Transport

These days, transport seems to be all about being small and green, but that doesn’t mean that performance and style need to be sacrificed. In fact, all of this year’s nominees pushed the technological and aesthetic boundaries to change the way we see eco-transport. So here is what you need to know about it: It will all be emission free and it will be great-looking. (Read more)

[It's Nice That] Lotta Nieminen

Great portfolio from Lotta Nieminen, a talented graphic designer who’s also got a fantastic illustration portfolio. Living and working in Helsinki she graduated from the University of Art and Design in Helsinki last year and also spent 2007 at the Rhode Island School of Design.

Pictured is the design and layout for Arttu, the University of Art and Design Helsinki’s quarterly magazine designed in collaboration with Mikko Luotonen.

www.lottanieminen.com

[It's Nice That] Issue #3 Proofs

It’s shiny proof time again and we’re days away from seeing the third issue of It’s Nice That on press. A massive thank you to everyone who has already pre-ordered a copy or blogged about it, the response has been fantastic.

As always we’ll be documenting the process over on flickr, so keep an eye out there.

It’s Nice That Shop

[Simon Willison's Weblog] Automate EC2 Instance Setup with user-data Scripts

[Brighton Daily Photo] Brighton makes it onto Google Street View! Hurrah

And here's where I work!


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[It's Nice That] Mitch Blunt

I stumbled across this image at the Kingston illustration degree show last year and really liked it, flicked a card in my pocket and it fell into the abyss, seemingly never to be seen again. So, when Mitch e-mailed me yesterday with an update I was thrilled to have had my carelessness saved as I found the same image back on my screen. Some lovely print work from a man who seems set to get commissioned until the cows come home.

www.mitchblunt.com

[West Pier Words] Come On, Girls, Let's Say it...

BRIGHTON PROMETTES

 

because you're worth it. But, let's face it, you're not half the value your grandmothers were.

[It's Nice That] Designs of the Year - Fashion

It could be easy to assume that the fashion industry has not seen significant innovations during the past year since it has been hit particularly hard by the economic climate. But as this year’s nominees proved, it is sometimes under the toughest conditions and in the most unusual places that artists find their inspiration. (Read more)

[It's Nice That] Designs of the Year - Architecture

As an opener for our Design of the Year 2010 Feature, where we’ll be looking at one category from the show every day until the winner is announced on 16 March next week, here are the nominees for the Architecture category. This year they included a library in South Korea, a 19th century German museum, and a housing project in Mexico, to name a few. It was an eclectic mix, but there were certain themes that a lot of them shared. (Read more)

[Tockla's World of Children's Literature] Poster

[It's Nice That] Ron Mueck

I really love the way Ron Mueck’s work plays with scale, character and space. I could look at his work forever.

www.gautierdeblonde.com

[Brighton Bits] Summer memory

[They paved paradise, put up a parking lot] Playing Farm Town In Real Life

Those of you who may have had occasion to check out my Crackbook profile will know that "I only joined so I could play Farm Town". This is true. While Crackbook may be the vehicle of choice for cyber-stalking by jealous ex-lovers, and competitive sadding by the hysterical masses, I genuinely only joined so, erm, I could play Farm Town. Why? Well, I've been on the Allotments Waiting List in Brighton & Hove for nearly six years now, and (as Diana Ross once said) I'm still waiting.

I first got the allotment bug a decade ago when my sister kept a plot just around the corner from her home in the South Manchester Muesli Belt. Her set up was ideal - a utopian exemplar of benevolent Victorian town planning, with a series of terraced cul-de-sacs abutting a field of allotments literally a minute or two's walk away. We spent lots of happy times there together, digging, mulching, planting things, and eventually pulling up tasty veg (not to mention enjoying a glass of wine in the evening sun after our labours). I was hooked*.

Anyway, when I moved back to Brighton in 2004, I immediately put my name down on the waiting list for a plot on a site about five minutes' walk away from home. There are only ten plots on this site, and the list subsequently closed in 2006.

Even though the Council has now taken the sensible decision to halve plots as they become available (thus doubling capacity and making plots more manageable), such is the shortage of allotments in my immediate vicinity (ie walkable within twenty minutes) and the demand for allotments city-wide, I suspect I will have moved house before I get anywhere near the top of the waiting list.

And although I probably could join a shorter waiting list for a site which is not within reasonable walking distance, I'm not interested if it means having to drive to get there - to me, this pretty much defeats the object, and would definitely diminish the pleasure of having my own plot in terms of hassle.

So I'm really not kidding when I say I only signed up to Crackbook** so I could play Farm Town - I know it's a bit donkey eyes***, but I had resigned myself to the fact that being a cyber-food-grower was the closest I was going to get to having my own patch of land for a long time.

With this in mind, you can imagine how ridiculously chuffed and excited I was when I heard late last year that a pilot food-growing garden was going to be set up in my ward, in Preston Park itself. The pilot is one of a number of initiatives set up by Harvest Brighton & Hove, as a joint project being delivered by the B&H Food Partnership and Food Matters, along with several other groups across the city.

Local food growing is a cornerstone Green Party policy, and since 2007 Greens on the Council have been pushing this. Cllr Paul Steedman in particular has done some excellent work via the City Sustainability Partnership, and with reference to Harvest, I was delighted to sponsor BHFP's original (successful!) £0.5m Lottery Food Fund bid, which is now providing funding for the Harvest portfolio of projects that focus on growing, cooking and eating more local food.

The official ground-breaking for the Preston Park demo garden took place yesterday afternoon >>>>>

It was excellent to meet the Harvest team in the flesh (after lots of emails), and I'm really looking forward to checking the work rota tomorrow to see when I can next go along to help out. The plot's been marked out, and now the hard work starts - building raised beds and sorting the fencing out first (sadly security measures will need to be in place to deter vandalism), then the fun bit of prepping the soil and planting the seeds and bulbs.

The beauty and the whole point of the demo garden is that (hopefully) it will show people how easy it is to grow your own food in a very small space - Mr K had speculated that it would be like an allotment in a park, but it's much smaller than that (4msq?), which reflects the fact that many people in B&H have titchy patios or balconies, and it's all about making the best use of the space you've got.

What's also particularly sweet is the evident whole-hearted support of the Tory administration (two of whom were in evidence at the demo garden launch yesterday - wonder where the Preston Park Labour councillors were?): we've come a long way since Greens submitted our response to the Core Strategy in August 2008, when Paul and I were told point blank that local food-growing wasn't a priority for the administration.

Maybe it's a cynical vote-grabbing exercise, maybe it's the zeitgeist - I don't really care as long as we keep making progress on this.

A massive well done to the Harvest team - can't wait to get my hands dirty ;)

* Despite the surfeit of Rainbow Chard one year [*blech*]

** Speaking of Crackbook - this is quality and pure lulz

*** Family expression for something which makes one feel ineffably sad

[Mulled Whines]

It's a well known fact that if your toddler reins get a bit tangled at the park, the best course of action is to dress yourself entirely in purple, put on your bunny ears, and sit on the sofa until you've sorted them out...


I think the celebratory "Yeah!" at the end was a bit premature. She rabbited on there for a good twenty minutes after that, and I don't think the reins were any less tangled by the time she went to bed. I had to stop filming in the end because my leg went to sleep and I started getting cramp.

Interestingly, we dressed Amelie in that purple outfit when we went up to Sheffield the other week. The moment we walked through the doors of the Premier Inn, she disappeared, and all we could see was a disembodied head floating through the air as she ran off towards the lift.

But anyhoo, I've got no time to blog tonight. Amelie's planning a secret surprise for Mother's Day, and she's roped me in to help. Mainly because she's too busy working on the toddler reins. Lisa's just popped out to Asda for some high-calorie food, which means I have a golden opportunity to spend half an hour on Amelie's home-made gift. People worry about child labour, but frankly I've put more work into this than she has.

[The Brunswick Blog] Sainsbury's opens - council rolls over

Well the flags weren't exactly out, but a man with a big sign did stand outside as Sainsbury's opened its doors today, without the planning permission required for its shopfront and cashpoint. Officers tell me that they have a right for retrospective planning permission, but it just seems to me that once again the council is failing to stand up to the big corporates.

Having said that I met with senior officers in the Environment Department to discuss the road management issues, and they are to contact both Sainsbury's and Tesco's to discuss the problems the illegal unloading will cause there. This at least presents a glimmer of hope.

[It's Nice That] Emily Forgot for Selfridges

Parade is the name of Emily Forgot’s latest piece of work for department store giant Selfridges. Filling such a large (and public) space is never an easy task, but one that Emily has taken in her stride. Well worth a look in person if you’re thinking of making a trip to town.

www.emilyforgot.co.uk

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Andy Hume

[Writing Neuroses ... mine are rare, yours may be legion]

Wishing I was eighteen again

Not because of the ‘rejection’ of not making the Sunday Times shortlist. Not even to relive my misspent youth, become a notorious tart and then write a book about it (see review of Belle de Jour later this week), but because I had lunch with Louise Halvardsson earlier in the week.

Lou’s one of the writers who really makes me step back and look at writing as a career, as a life-style choice, and as a challenge – whenever I sit down with her I come away with a new clarity about my own desire to write and the roots of the compulsion to produce fiction.

And on 15th March she’s leading a Creative Writing Workshop for Young Adults at Hove Library. You have to be 13-19 years old but you don’t need to have any particular writing skills or experience. Also, the workshop is absolutely free, but you do need to book a place in advance by ringing 01273 293312 or emailing pauline.freestone@brighton-hove.gov.uk

The workshop is part of Brighton & Hove's Aqua Festival which celebrates the hosting of the London 2012 Games and inspires people to join in and try something new. And I wish I could take part because I think it will be utterly brilliant …

[InformationMatters] More student successes

Further to Philip’s success with SLA, two of our MAIS students have also won places at a conference. Jo Bussey and Rachel Westworth are going to the UK Serials Group conference in Edinburgh in April. Well done to Jo and Rachel. I hope they have a great time and I look forward to hearing about it.

Filed under: Announcements

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[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Derek Pennycuff

[Brighton Daily Photo] Casablanca Jazz Club

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Daria

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Paul Lloyd

[It's Nice That] The Church of London Updates

The Church of London are the studio responsible for designing and publishing the fantastic film bi-monthly, Little White Lies which you’re undoubtedly familiar with. Alongside such well-established output they are also responsible for a whole host of great design and art direction projects, and for your viewing pleasure they have had a big update of their site for you to get jealous over. Invigorating to see a print publisher doing so well, hats off chaps.

www.thechurchoflondon.com

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from James Bates

[Tom Roper's Weblog] Titles and forms of address

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Andy Hume

[Natalie Downe's Weblog] A quote from Jeremy Keith

[Brighton Bits] Dodgy crossing update

Following my last but one article "Is this crossing dangerous?" I also emailed the Traffic Signal Department.  I have had a quick response and more importantly the light has already been swung round to point towards Castle Square. As the photo shows the pedestrian can no longer be misled by the light intended for traffic. Apparently it was never intended for the traffic in East Street.

Problem solved.

[The Brunswick Blog] Estate Agent's Boards (again)

I was pleased to give evidence to the government inspector over the council's proposal for a wider ban of Estate Agent's Boards. The hearing heard both sides of the argument, from residents and estate agents. It was an interesting debate and the inspector listened well to both sides of the argument.

The original control order has been a tremendous success and made a huge contribution to improving the historic squares and terraces. It really must be extended, and for me the only question is how far.

The inspector will spend three days in the city looking at the areas proposed and will write his report for the Secretary of State. The outcome is expected in April.

[Mulled Whines]

Breaking news from the sofa in front of me: Lisa has just described the latest footage of the Elk City tornado in Oklahoma as "a bit of old cloud". She followed that up by reaching for the remote control and adding "If I want to see grainy footage, I'll put on Channel Five". She's now watching a recording of 'House Guest in the Sun', which is a lot like a natural disaster, only more tragic.

And on the subject of tragedies, the first thing I saw when I left for work just after 8am this morning was an ambulance parked twenty yards from my front door, and a smashed up motorbike lying in the junction between Eastern Road and College Place. I don't know if the rider was in a similar condition or not, but let's hope the Yamaha was the only organ he damaged. Either way, it made me glad that I never leave for work on time. Five minutes earlier and I could have had Evel Knievel bouncing off my bonnet.

Ironically, having driven past the final scene from Easy Rider, I found myself following a white commercial van with a sign on the back which featured a bicycle in a red triangle, and the words "Warning: this vehicle turns left". I was tempted to bemoan the state of modern Britain, where it's apparently necessary to avoid litigation by warning cyclists that you might occasionally go round a corner, but having just seen a two-wheeled pile of wreckage at the junction of a left turn, it actually seemed quite sensible.

In other news, I was listening to the war stories of an elderly lady today (and I don't mean Lisa), and having told me about the time her husband was sunk by a U-boat, she happened to mention that she used to live in the Norfolk town of Sheringham. I told her that I have an internet stalker good friend who used to live there too, so she asked me his name.

Despite having just heard that careless talk costs lives, I immediately gave her the information she requested, and lo and behold, she said she knows him. "Not personally", she was quick to point out, but she was familiar with his work. Apparently he takes a good funeral. So I said I'd pass on her comments and try to get her a freebie.

[Alabaster Crippens doesn't know what's going on] Not quite unstruck enough.

I kinda wanna post this because I like it. But I wasn’t sure if it was good enough, so I used the end as a seed for the final post on unstruck.

But I wanted my thoughts recorded, even though they’ve been chosen as not good enough for the main site.

Not that this place is now my second favourite (though with the excitement of the new, it blatantly is) and so only worthy of unwanted trash.

I still love you guys.

I’m just excited by the new project a lot. It’s pretty exciting. It’s great to feel creative again, and to not just feel like I’m waffling inanely to myself. Which is what I do here. Mostly.

Anyway, here’s the original draft, for the sake of posterity:

q: Is it sometimes good to lie?

I’m severely in danger of sounding like Polonius here.

Though marginally less poetic, no doubt.

I’m a quite thorough devotee of honesty. Particularly in the big things. Having done the wrong thing many times, I made a promise to myself to be honest.

Honesty can hurt, but it normally means the pain is justified. If the truth hurts, at least it’s the right hurt. The one that should be. When a lie hurts, it’s doubly wrong, and cannot be justified.

But obviously there are times where honesty hurts heedlessly. These are the times I feel conflicted.

When I discuss this with people, I’m always under attack from talk of the little white lies. The flattery that is called for and must be given. Of course your bum doesn’t look big in that.

(I might ask, what is wrong with a bottom looking large? And not just because I like big bottoms, but simply because it seems somewhat unimportant, what someone else might think of your bottom. Someone who judges you inadequate on the basis of incorrect posterior volume is someone not worth knowing. Of course, at the same time, I am hopelessly vain and concerned with what other people think of what I look like, but also have a spectacularly pretty bottom. So perhaps that stance is in itself dishonest.)

So is it okay to boost someone’s ego? Or are you still misleading, taking astray?

I don’t entirely have an answer.

In my case, I am often helped by the fact that I don’t really think before I speak. My brain has a thought and before I know it the thought is in the air, vibrating towards other ears.

I often don’t have time to consider lying.

This gets me in trouble.

Honesty is sometimes noticed. It allows you to be trusted, if not always liked. It helps if you honestly hold positive opinions. The best of both worlds.

In fact, being able to hold two contrary opinions simultaneously makes virtually anything possible.

How about internally?

For me, lying equates to a pain in the gut and a fear in the chest. I know I am doing something I shouldn’t. This is shared with a certain glee when I’m pulling a prank of some sort. Misleading to entertain. But I almost always confess immediately.

But there’s the rub.

There is a time when it is good to lie. Great to lie. Great lies can be wonderful.

Because they are stories.

As the man with a letter for a name said: ‘Artists use lies to tell the truth.’

And that’s what we are doing here.

These answers are fabrications. The illustrations more so. They are beliefs. They are ways of expressing ideas. And I think I am still being honest here. But not necessarily by speaking bare truth.

But that method of building something. It is built on lies. It is built on artifice.

And there’s certainly nothing wrong with that.

So sometimes it is good. Yes.

Lie for the truth.

[Up] Nassim Haramein - Fraud or Sage?